Darling you don’t sound like you’re in love with him, you sound like you’re desperately trying to hold onto pieces of affection that are firing splinters into your heart.
When your eyes are red from a night’s crying but you smile when strangers ask if you feel okay, darling that is not love.
When he shouts at you and you scream back but your cries are never as loud as his words, saying your dreams are invalid and your thoughts insane, darling that is not love.
When he expects you to give up your life to make him happy, to commit yourself to something you never wanted, please stop telling yourself it is love.
This is not love.
Love is not a chore that you need to make excuses for, that you need to say “maybe he hits me, but I know it’s out of love” or “perhaps he calls me stupid, but he makes me feel beautiful”.
Stop making excuses. This is not love.”